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An eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind

 -Gandhi-

"Be who you are and say what you feel; because those who mind don't matter; and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel)

Secrets To Your Successful Dot Com
A division of The Shepherd's Inn, Inc. 13289 Sun Road Brooksville, Florida 34613

Beneficial Discipline

Hmmmm. That's thought provoking.

One point that needs to be made from the start.
Never discipline in anger.

I tell my daughter when things get too
complicated,  "You go to your room, I'll go to my
room and I will  come to get you when I have
calmed."

Often times, she just went to sleep. There was a
time when I found that very upsetting, how could
she sleep when I'm so distressed?!?

In hind-sight, it was probably better for both of
us that she did take a nap.

It may have been her need of sleep that caused
whatever  the situation was in the first place.
The situation may  have been even better resolved
if I had napped also.

But, alas, you know what they say about
hind-sight.

Our first step in any situation is to call a
family  meeting. This is a solemn conversation,
no TV, no CD;  everyone sitting around the table
face to face.

Our position is that we are a team, if one of us
has a problem, we all have a problem and we all
will  solve it.

Our second step is to let the family member with
the  problem explain it to the rest of the family
in enough  detail to come to a solution.

(The trick is to look very thoughtful, and not
laugh,  these stories take some interesting turns
in order to  cover the back side of the teller.)

Our third step is to ask the family member
involved,  what they think will best solve the
problem.

This depending on the age of the child, usually
involves  beating up someone else's child, or the
child's parent.

It is explained that the other family will take
care of  behavior problems in their family, and
that is not our  business.    We are concerned
with behavior in our family, because  family's
each have different cultures and rules that they
are governed by and we have ours.

Each member of our family regardless of age will
behave  according to our morals and standards.

Our fourth step we pray for guidance.

This is a short, to the point prayer, that the
person with  the problem knows how much that they
are loved and that we  and God are always there
for them to help them find truth  and a good
life.

Thanking God for always being with the person
with the  problem and watching over them.

(The child at this point is reconsidering their
story)

Step five is asking the person with the problem
if there is anything more that they remember
about what happened before we, as a family,
decree what action we shall take.

This will usually take you back to step three,
now that the 'God is always with me' reminder has
kicked in.

Step Six, finally.

My answer to beneficial discipline was to
reinforce what the child was being taught in
school at the time.

Our daughter only had one problem at school,
when she was 6. She falsely accused another child
of wrong-doing.

After going through the above
process:

She had to write the alphabet X amount of times,
presenting them to her father after each time for
correction. If she skipped a letter, he threw it
away  without comment and it was redone .

I told her to write a story about a fictitious
character who had done something that they
shouldn't and what the consequences of that
character's actions were. She then had to turn it
in to her teacher.

The teacher told her that it would count for her
grade for that marking period.

This is beneficial discipline, because it
demonstrates to the child family support and
values, religious values, and practical application
of educational skills. By writing the story we
were sure that she understood what was going on.

Discipline is not violent, it is not dominance,
it is educational.
 
  

Thea Swafford is the CEO and President of a debt-
free corporation, The Shepherd's Inn Inc. and 
webmaster of two very successful web sites that
focus on helping both the novice and netpreneur to 
reach their objectives with wisdom and humor.
http://Secrets-To-Your-Successful.Com and 
http://Targeted-Ad.Com